I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
