I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
