I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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