I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
