I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
