You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
