I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
