i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
