On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
