i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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