Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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