a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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