I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
