sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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