Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
