You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize