That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
handjob tips. give me some.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
