my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
