she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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