This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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