I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
