I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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