Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
