That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize