I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
