So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
