Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
