your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
