What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think people are normalizing furries
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
