Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
