I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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