New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
