all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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