Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
