do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
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