I need help removing her.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
