Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
