So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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