why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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