u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
