And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
