Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
