I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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