OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
