He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
