the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
