I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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