franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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