you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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