Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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