She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
