sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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