i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
