bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
