what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize