Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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