dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
