Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
