Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
