if you like me you must not know who I am
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
