so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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