But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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