I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize