did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
